Saturday, January 24, 2009


I feel like a nonsense, I feel like a stupid. All the things I´ve always believed in now seem to fall in the whole shit. Job´s like a bomb ready to explode every day, I think I´m the most idiot soldier of the troops, because all I receive from the people around me is that I´m not ready to do anything. I´ve always thought that I was cool, and my dream was to become a good professional, in everything I would do. I try the best I can, but it´s like trying to kill a dinnosaur with a stick.
Everyday is a new nightmare, and panic makes me shiver day and night. It´s very hard to smile in a situation like this. It´s almost impossible to enjoy the best things in life: rock, girlfriend, friends, family, games, holidays, weekends, bikes... I don´t know how can I solve it, but I need a change, because I can´t stand this situation.
I don´t know what to do. I´d rather go away and try in another place, but here there are bills to pay, the mortgage and the credits, and that´s the main reason why I fell trapped under ice. I don´t know even where to start searchin´, because I´ve spend many years of my life working for this firm, but now it seems they don´t want me in, and the reasons to resist are not easy to find.
"The biggest gets the chaos, the closer is the solution" Mao said.

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