That´s what I used to see in the tv screen when I was writting things that my old Sinclair Spectrum 48K could not understand. And that´s how I feel now, as if somebody has told me a nonsense I can´t understand. It´s supposed that there are several things in life you normally cannot control, and death is one of those things. Last thursday, another old friend of mine died.
He was 36, as old as I am, and he was living in Barcelona, with his girlfriend, trying hard to start a new life in a place full of people, where loneliness is very common. We were at secondary school together, and we had different political ideas about how the system should be, and that was something we never solved. Some years after we shared the same workplace, and we spent many months speaking to each other only when it was strictly necessary. But time passes by, and we found a way to speak without mentioning the old times, and we started a new relationship based in the history, the art, the music, the Internet and other things.
Now, he´s not here anymore. And I regret every day I was acting like a stupid to him, and I beg now for his forgiveness, as a coward, for something I never had the courage to say. I´m sure that, wherever he may be now, he will forgive me, but now I really feel like a creep. I remember now many conversations in the old stables, and I remember his jokes, his dressings, his smiles... And the first thing that appeared in my mind when I heard about his death was a big "I´m sorry. I´m very sorry. Please, forgive me".
As Eddie Vedder sang: "I know someday you´ll have a beatiful life. I know you´ll be a sun... in somebody else´s sky". You know music is very important to me, because I´ve always believed that every story has it´s own soundtrack, and yours will always be an endless Mark Knopfler guitar solo.
See you soon, my friend.